Auto Show
Posted by Captain of the Poop Deck in adventures
Went to an auto show with a friend yesterday, which was kind of strange, since I just learned how to change a spare tire and used to think V8 was only a tomatoey soup-beverage. The incidence of booth babes was almost zero, which I guess was due to the fact that most of the cars there weren't souped-up hot rods, but mild and sensible sedans and vans represented by mild and sensible women in pantsuits.
This car had a spare car on top:
I was also introduced to the cutting edge of American car technology and the pride of Chrysler's 2010 line: The Backseat Table. Putting our bailout tax money to good use, I see.
Also, adding to such model name gems as the "Veracruz" and "Genesis" was the Hyundai Equus, which brings to mind some uncomfortable intimacy issues and the sexualization of horses. I'm not quite sure what they were trying to get across with this one, but that's probably not it.
One of the cooler cars was the 1937 Housecar. Awesome! Back then you could be partially homeless in style.
Ford tried to reach their android demographic by employing a soulless robot to answer questions about its products. I don't know why those two girls aren't more scared; it looks like it could kill them in their sleep.
The "green vehicles" section was distressingly empty, ugly, and low-energy. Do you see this??? It's a fuel cell! That's clean fucking energy! Why is it sequestered to the dark corner near the bathrooms? It should be on a golden pedestal at the entrance!
There was a "clean energy" bright spot, however; in the Segway test drives. These people ate that shit up. It must be because you look so cool when you ride them:
Some minor merchants also peddled their wares, including this guy, who was doing an incredible job of convincing a small crowd that they needed better car wax:
All in all, a strange and wonderfully awkward event. The convention box office dealt exclusively in cash, so I hope that doesn't make me party to future tax fraud. And I don't really want to buy a car more than once every ten years or so, so I hope that doesn't make me un-American. And I had Thai food in SOMA afterwards, so I really hope that doesn't make me a Yuppie. But it might.
